Catholic Kids are Weird
...And I can say that because I went through 16 years of Catholic school (yep, college, too...the Ham Sandwich is a glutton for guilt.)
Anyway. One my favorite writers out there is a girl named Allie Brosh, who writes a completely hysterical and incredibly well drawn blog called Hyperbole and a Half. Many of her stories are hilarious accounts of her precocious childhood, and her most recent story got me thinking about the weird stuff my three siblings and I did as kids.
One of those pine groves had an open space in the middle, and either by nature or construct (I can't honestly remember), the space had a shallow, one foot or so wide and one foot deep depression in the center of the pines. My siblings and I, for reasons that God only knows, deemed it "The Mary Hole." As in Mary, Mother of Jesus. The Blessed Mother. The BVM.
I have no solid reason as as to why we would have picked a random spot in the cul-de-sac and start worshiping it as if the Virgin Mary herself appeared there. (Maybe she did?) My guess is that it had something to do with our (specifically my sisters' and I) Catholic school-induced obsession with Mary. Mary was a friendly, beautiful figure in the Catholic Church, and especially popular as a role model for young Catholic girls. May Crowning--a day in May when we'd process over to the grotto at school and one lucky, obviously holy girl got to put a crown of flowers on the statue of Mary's head--was a big, BIG deal. I distinctly remember being filled with a very un-Catholic-like sense of jealousy when my middle sister got to do the honors in second grade.
Specifics on what we exactly did with the Mary Hole are hard to recall, but I do remember we spent a lot of time throwing flowers into it, occasionally standing in it (but you really weren't supposed to stand in the Mary Hole), and frequently praying to it (her?). The Mary Hole was a popular meeting spot ("I'll see you at the Mary Hole!"), as well as a base for tag-related games...which I suppose makes sense, considering we viewed it sacred ground. We achieved a major coup when we managed to get our Mormon neighbors to buy into the whole thing, and they too would join us in prayers and assorted rituals around the Mary Hole. I also remember that our brother and his friend thought that the Mary Hole was dumb--they had little interest in activities revolving around a shallow hole that housed an invisible deity.
Back at my parent's house recently, I went out in the court and found the old Mary Hole...it's been filled in a bit by time and pine needles, but it's still there. And asking my siblings about it, my one sister had no specific memories either, but summed up the whole point of this story nicely: "OK. Kids are weirdos. We were no exception. It sounds like a reference to a virginal orifice."
Amen, sister.
Anyway. One my favorite writers out there is a girl named Allie Brosh, who writes a completely hysterical and incredibly well drawn blog called Hyperbole and a Half. Many of her stories are hilarious accounts of her precocious childhood, and her most recent story got me thinking about the weird stuff my three siblings and I did as kids.
One of the weirder things we did was this thing (game?) called The Mary Hole. (Insert inappropriate joke here) Let me set the scene: Growing up, we lived on a cul-de-sac, (the "court") that was about 1/10 of a mile around. The middle had a grassy area big enough for pick-up soccer games/red rover/red light-green light, and the perimeter was surrounded by groves of pine trees. It was basically our mini neighborhood park, and it was awesome. And did I mention that all four of us went to Catholic grade schools?
One of those pine groves had an open space in the middle, and either by nature or construct (I can't honestly remember), the space had a shallow, one foot or so wide and one foot deep depression in the center of the pines. My siblings and I, for reasons that God only knows, deemed it "The Mary Hole." As in Mary, Mother of Jesus. The Blessed Mother. The BVM.
I have no solid reason as as to why we would have picked a random spot in the cul-de-sac and start worshiping it as if the Virgin Mary herself appeared there. (Maybe she did?) My guess is that it had something to do with our (specifically my sisters' and I) Catholic school-induced obsession with Mary. Mary was a friendly, beautiful figure in the Catholic Church, and especially popular as a role model for young Catholic girls. May Crowning--a day in May when we'd process over to the grotto at school and one lucky, obviously holy girl got to put a crown of flowers on the statue of Mary's head--was a big, BIG deal. I distinctly remember being filled with a very un-Catholic-like sense of jealousy when my middle sister got to do the honors in second grade.
Specifics on what we exactly did with the Mary Hole are hard to recall, but I do remember we spent a lot of time throwing flowers into it, occasionally standing in it (but you really weren't supposed to stand in the Mary Hole), and frequently praying to it (her?). The Mary Hole was a popular meeting spot ("I'll see you at the Mary Hole!"), as well as a base for tag-related games...which I suppose makes sense, considering we viewed it sacred ground. We achieved a major coup when we managed to get our Mormon neighbors to buy into the whole thing, and they too would join us in prayers and assorted rituals around the Mary Hole. I also remember that our brother and his friend thought that the Mary Hole was dumb--they had little interest in activities revolving around a shallow hole that housed an invisible deity.
Back at my parent's house recently, I went out in the court and found the old Mary Hole...it's been filled in a bit by time and pine needles, but it's still there. And asking my siblings about it, my one sister had no specific memories either, but summed up the whole point of this story nicely: "OK. Kids are weirdos. We were no exception. It sounds like a reference to a virginal orifice."
Amen, sister.
Comments
I do need to get to Heaven, you know ;)