I Survived the Scoville Shot (barely)

(Image courtesy of www.tastethefear.com)

During my weekdays, I spend my time prosecuting those who violate the laws of man.

Apparently, my weekend nights are spent violating the laws of nature...

The Bhut Jolokia pepper is, without any hyperbole, the hottest pepper in the world. The chart above compares the jolokia with other, more common peppers, as measured in Scoville units. The Scoville scale is named after the American chemist Wilber Scoville, and measures the amount of capsaicin in a pepper.

Last night at a cookout, two of my genius friends reconstituted a bag (8 or so) of dried jolokia peppers, then pureed them in a blender. I was told they were going to be "Scoville shots:" a tablespoon or so of jolokia puree mixed with a shot of vodka. My response, was that they were idiots. The jolokia is used, after all, as a pepper spray to ward off wild elephants in India, and being considered for use in non-lethal riot control.

Two hours later though, caving less to peer pressure and more wanting to prove I could hang with the boys, I was holding a plastic glass with a shot of vodka and a splash of jolokia juice. The smell alone was enough to make my eyes water and my nostrils burn. A toast on the porch, and down the hatch, followed by a chip and guacamole chaser.

For about 3 seconds, there was nothing but an acrid, awful taste, and then the full force of the "ghost pepper" hit: I couldn't swallow, the chip and guac chaser was stuck in my mouth, and a trail of searing heat was moving it's way down my esophagus and into my stomach. My two daredevil cohorts stayed on the porch in various levels of agony and I bee-lined it to the bathroom. I managed to spit out the guacamole and then a second wave of pain hit: stomach cramps, and full-body sweating. I ripped off my jacket and lay face first on the tile floor of my friend's bathroom as every single pore in my body perspired. Two thoughts ran through my mind: "Holy crap, I may actually die on this bathroom floor," and "maybe they won't mind if I take a cold shower."

Eventually, I was able to stand, leave the cool bathroom floor, and drink a glass of milk. My body cooled down, but for the next several hours I was left with a jittery, slightly drunk, somewhat unstable feeling. Twelve hours later, lets just say it's not quite out of the system...

Moral of the story: you dance with the Bhut jolokia, you will get burned!