The Best Freakin' Cookies Ever (and other random thoughts)

This is what mon jardin looks like right now. Well, actually, this is what it looked like two weeks ago, when we actually had some snow on the ground. I can't decide if it looks kind of sad and desolate, or cozy and tucked in--waiting until planting season in just a few, short months. I'll go with the latter, as the former thought makes me want to pack up and move to the Islands.

For my loyal readers out there, you'll notice that Ham Sandwich has been pretty quiet lately. The insanity of the holidays, coupled with a general lack of inspiration, has kept me from posting anything of interest. Not to say that it hasn't been a great season of wacky food misadventures, because it has...

For my coworkers, I made a bouche de Noel as a Christmas present:

If you're thinking "wow, that's so impressive...I could never do that," thanks, but trust me, you can. If you can read and follow the recipe on the inside of the Libby's pumpkin puree label for making a pumpkin roll, you can make a bouche de Noel (or, a yule log).

To make the "bark," just take a little cream cheese frosting and mix in some unsweetened chocolate powder. Use a spatula to spread the white cream cheese frosting on the roll, then use a fork to drag dollops of the chocolate icing throughout the white. The more messy the texture, the better. Easy breezy. Trust me.

The other major holiday highlight was some experimenting with molecular gastronomy. A few years ago, this was all the rage with the top tier chefs in the world--using foams, gelatins, liquid nitrogen, spherification, etc. to create rather insane ways of serving food. It's still a pretty popular way to cook, but the initial hoo-rah seems to have died down some bit.

Lucky for you, for just a small outlay of cash (less than $50), you can get the requisite food-safe chemicals needed to make liquids into little spheres of what is sometimes referred to as "caviar," and take a stab at becoming the next Ferran Adria.
You're looking at a mixture of Kahlua and vodka, encapsulated in a thin membrane, all thanks to the wonders of science. Since we're a cocktail-obsessed bunch, we decided the best use of the tools of molecular gastronomy would be to make a deconstructed White Russian:

We floated those little pearls of alcohol in milk, the idea being that upon contact with your teeth, the bubbles burst open, mix with the milk, and voila!, White Russian. Unfortunately, the bubbles were more chewy than light and explosive, but it was a fun experiment nonetheless.

And finally, the reason you might actually have some interest in this post: mind-blowingly delicious, decadent chocolate chip cookies:

Here's the deal (and I'm not going to lie) these are based pretty closely (OK almost identically) on a recipe from that very well known company that makes a dozen different versions of any given dish, then finds the "best" way to make it, factoring in materials, techniques, and ingredients. You know who they are, and I'm not going to actually mention their name, as they apparently have dozens of minions under their control searching the Internet for their company name posted alongside of their recipes. Then, they send in men in black suits and sunglasses to take your kitchen equipment and ban you from cooking. (I'm kidding about that last part. Seriously, please don't sue me...I love everything you guys do.)

Anyway, Ham Sandwich's significant other made these cookies a while back and suggested that they might be a little too sweet...sometimes what's perfect for one person may not be perfect for another. Thus, I've changed their recipe by lowering the amount of sugar used, and increasing the variety of chocolate chips. (Somehow, it makes sense in my mind.)

Without further ado, here's how to enjoy perfection in your own home (and they make AMAZING ice cream sandwich cookies):

1 3/4 c. unbleached all-purpose flour (if you have bleached, throw it out, get unbleached)
1/2 tsp. baking soda
14 tablespoons of butter (just trust me)
1/4 c. granulated sugar
3/4 c. packed dark brown sugar
1 tsp. salt
2 tsp. vanilla
1 egg
1 egg yolk
3/4 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
3/4 cup bitter-sweet chocolate chips

1. Set rack in middle of oven and pre-heat to 375 degrees. Line your baking sheets with parchment paper. Whisk together the flour and baking soda in a small bowl.

2. Heat 10 tablespoons of butter in a medium skillet over medium-high heat. What you're going to do is brown the butter, melting it and then heating it until it is a nice, deep golden-brown/amber color. Just melt the butter then swirl the pan for 3-5 minutes to keep the butter moving and let it slowly develop the browning you're looking for. Careful, once it browns, it browns fast! Pour the hot, browned butter in a heatproof bowl, add the other 4 tbls. of butter and stir until melted.

3. Add both sugars, salt, vanilla and whisk together. Add the egg and egg yolk, whisk until smooth, then let rest for 3 minutes. Whisk again for 30 seconds, then rest the batter for another 3 minutes. Do this one more time--you're looking for the batter to be smooth, shiny, and thick. Then, fold the flour/soda mixture into the butter/sugar mixture. Fold them just until combined, then add the chocolate chips.

4. For cookies that are chewy in the middle an crispy on the edges, divide the dough into balls that are about 3 tablespoons each (a little bigger than a golf ball). Set them 2 inches apart on the cookie sheets (I fit 6 on a sheet), then bake the sheets one at a time for 12-14 minutes. Remove from the oven, transfer to baking racks, and cool before serving.

5. Eat, then weep with joy over their decadence.

So, the next weekend day when it's cold out and you have an hour or two to kill, give these a shot. I'm fairly confident that when you share them with your family/friends/co-workers/mailman, they'll willingly become your loyal servant. Or, at least expect you to provide dessert for all future events...